giornale :: a day in the life of snarko!

The Dick Parking Game

posted by snarko on Saturday, December 19 2009

Fun Way for Retail Workers to Get Back at Everyone

[PHOTOS TO COME I've requested them.]

That person who parks handicapped you know isn't. That person who takes two spaces that just shouldn't own an SUV. That person who thinks they're so privileged, they park in front of the door to the store for "just a minute", but it's an hour in everyone else's world. Like, the real one.

Now get even.

I came to work today after two days off sick to find the manager's car with one wheel up the sidewalk. Near the loading bay, I thought maybe she needed to load it to take stuff somewhere like she often does, but didn't see the logic in the parking job. Apparently, the rest of the staff thought she was drunk.

She plotted it all morning, laughing as she did it.

Apparently while I was out sick, one busy staff person blew their parking job in a hurry, and couldn't care less. Then another one decided to block her. And then the whole purposely-blow-the-park situation just got outta hand, to the point my staff is trying to figure out how to "one up" the last bad parking job.

I don't drive; I originally put my shoes over my manager's side-view mirrors, but wasn't happy with that.

I later called my ride--which is a motorcycle--and requested he park in front of the front door in such a way no one could get in or out. And please put your helmet on the handicap parking sign.

Half of us nearly died laughing at pissed customers. Joe did it so well, acted like nothing was abnormal, and the staff had "nothing to do with it" so fuck it.

Said pissed customers? One parked handicapped when not, the other invented their own space that fucks all flow when there's actually plenty of parking but you have to walk (they were more than able-bodied).

You retail people wanna have some real fun? Start parking like your customers do, then challenge your co-workers to out-do how bad a job you did.