Don't Hate Texas - Election Night Report
posted by snarko on Thursday, November 16 2006
We didn't elect a statewide straight-Republican takeover. You did.
Gotcha? Stay tuned...
I spent election night with the Democrats at the Stephen F. Austin Hotel. The Republicans were at the Omni, evidenced by all the media outside. (I stayed there, once, on New Year's, throwing a party we weren't allowed to have.) You could hardly walk the sidewalks downtown; they were crawling with suits in every direction. And you didn't want to go the way of the Omni. They don't exactly check for pedestrians before spinning out in their SUVs.
But they smile real big with too-white teeth if they don't actually hit you. The tequilla in the hot tub on the roof was my favorite moment. Oh, wait; that's the Omni. Back to SFA...
Yeah, I'm real glad we took over the House and Senate. But I live in TEXAS, okay? And in TEXAS, we lost friggin' every seat possible, save our usual popes like Doggett.
I got real, real sick of hearing, "This is a great day for Democrats!" from everyone at the party. What? Okay, I admit, I was more than estatic to watch Santorum go down--but what the heck took y'all so long? I voted against that creep (as well as Ridge--he gone yet? He looked real smug and purdy as first head of Homeland Security--now chuck the bastard) like 10 years ago. I nearly punched the person next to me in glee.
BUT GET THIS:
For your consideration,
The reports from rural areas were even bleaker than the cities. They lost a lot of local-level politicians as well. No, the farmers' ain't dumb.
A bunch of Republicans, so the reports go, moved to areas in Texas of "untouched beauty" to put up million-dollar mansions on the best of it (like right on the lakes). Then, having "nothing better to do" (not like they work), ran for office, and beat every local, underfunded and undereducated, by comparison.
Biggest problem: THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT TEXANS. Nope. TRANSPLANTS from your states. Why do they come?
No state income tax. Incredibly favorable property tax, if you're rich, capped at some ungodly low amount. But of course they still refuse to raise "homestead exemption" if you're not.
Come on. Every rich jerk in the nation wants to be here. They get to keep their whole purse, and support and vote for candidates that keep it that way.
I want my Texas back, which is actually POPULIST, by default. Take Bush and all the other Republicans that don't belong here back to your own soil. Or I'll hafta put my pointy boots on again.
Oh, I said report, so the thumbs-up and and downs of the evening:
THUMBS-UP:
1. Watching, finally, Santorum go down. I additionally got to immediately meet every ex-PA person in the room, we were all so loud about it.
2. I got to hug my Congressman. It actually makes me happy a. I would want to b. I can.
3. David refused to concede. Hell froze over; we will now "fight them on the ice."
4. Casino, of all people, laughed his butt off watching me dance with a "Vote Today" sign at I35/51st. Oh yeah. I was that nut. 10,000+ witnesses.
5. Seeing all my Texas Kucinich friends. Knowing none of us have given up.
6. Kirk Watson's purple tie and slam-dunk win.
THUMBS-DOWN:
1. One of my stalkers crashed the party. Um, when did you ever help the Democrats? Why did you think you were welcome? Don't ever touch my hair (or any other part of my body) again or I'll break your fingers. "Hippies" are NOT "easy" by default, you preditory scum.
2. Losing every statewide race. All of them. It was sickening. Say hello to the Trans-Texas Corridor, and don't cry to me about it.
3. Missing my opportunity to share a cigarette with Rep. Eddie Rodriguez. I wanted that off-the-cuff talk. I got pulled away by someone near the door. Sorry.
4. Having to hear over and over, "It's a great day for Democrats!" when we lost every statewide seat. I don't care what they won elsewhere, okay? I live in Texas. We blew it.
5. Oklahoma did better than us. Ouch. There goes our joke.
PS: HATS OFF to the Kinky Friedman crew; you should be proud of your returns. Like, "fringe" candidate normally only gets 3%--you got over 12%. That's amazing.
Before some of you start with it, those are NOT stolen Bell votes. NO WAY. These people registered for Kinky and Kinky ONLY. If he'd dropped out--and shame on you for asking him to while calling yourself "democratic"--those voters would have simply STAYED HOME. Carol's vote would have gone to Perry; if anything, if these two didn't run, Bell's numbers would've been WORSE.
I openly accept argument, but Chris didn't have a chance in bell.
PSS: I cut off the dreads, I was so angry. No, I really did.