chezsnarko rants Archive for October 2007

I Want My Life Back

posted by snarko on Sunday, October 7 2007

910 and beyond

[guest post by Joe, my sexy hubby]

I just want some fucking peace!

It's taken me almost a YEAR to find a dumb little job that will barely pay my way through the world so that, if I have the energy after I give it all away to something that has little to nothing to do with who I am, maybe I can play a little music or do a little art or vaguely remember myself.

So, this weekend. My time off. Theoretically. My car gets a flat tire Saturday day. Then, the engine dies Saturday night. And, to keep my new job that I finally got that's 10 miles away from where I live on very unbikeable terrain, I have to show up Monday morning and run the whole show by myself because the owners are away at a conference.

So, I'd bike it, if my bike also didn't just get a total flat tire that's deflating madly every time I fill it up.

Well, since I just had the car towed away on a Sunday, and it can't get fixed until a Monday, if I can afford to fix it, that is, I just went online to see if I have enough money in my bank account to fix the car. Except I blew the password, since I have passwords to numerous entities out there that I have to vary ever so slightly to their character requests.

So, now my account's frozen, and the computer on the telebank phone number recognizes my voice, but not my account number or password, and I have no idea if I have the money to fix the car. But, thank god I have the spare change to maybe take the bus tomorrow. For who knows how long?

Wow, I remember weekends. I'd work my ass off at a job, and just have a weekend to recover, and to maybe remember who I am. But, no. I'm spending all of my time and energy figuring out how I can almost get to a job that almost pays me after almost a YEAR of being under.

I've still got so far out of that hole to climb that it isn't even funny. I just got a new pair of shoes for my birthday that aren't ridden with holes. I'm so excited that I can walk comfortably now while working for the Man and having all of my energy funneled into wondering just how I'll survive this month. It was NEVER like this before! What's happening, people?!